Marriage
First, let me begin by saying, this is not Marital Advice. I do not give Marital Advice. In fact I do not give much advice at all. Contrary to what most people believe that the Pastor is an expert at Advice Giving, I do not include myself in that Group.
I choose to Develop Spiritual Growth within the Individual Person, for the purpose of allowing the Holy Spirit to direct them in all of their Decision Making. Especially in Marriage and Divorce. Don’t look for the Pastor to help you make a decision, but look to the Holy Spirit, who knows the Mind of God, and the Decision that He leads you to make, will be for your Total Welfare.
All our lives, we have been told that the key to a successful marriage is to marry the Man and the Woman that God has selected for you. This in fact is not only True, but also it is what God expects us to do according to His Word.
But the point that I wish to share with you, is that in a lot of cases with Christian People, there is another step that must be taken and completed even before God Reveals to you the Man or the Woman HE WANTS YOU TO MARRY.
God first wants us to understand His Intentions for the Man and the Woman in Marriage, by understanding the Responsibilities before even considering getting Married. In other words, God wants you to understand how the Marriage is suppose to Operate, before you get into it.
In other aspects of Life, Men and Women first learn how things operate before they get into it. They learn how to drive before getting behind the wheel of a car. They learn the office policies and procedures before starting a new job. They learn the new area before moving to a new house. They even learn, how some people operate before accepting them as close friends.
So why don’t they learn how a Marriage is suppose to operate before they get into it?
Of course, that question is personal between them and God. Or maybe even you and God. But understanding how a Marriage is suppose to operate according to God’s Word is what I want to share with you.
Please Prayerfully consider the following:
Marriage was Designed and Instituted by God
Designed - Create and Construct something according to a Plan. Devise a Specific Function with a Purpose.
Instituted - To Establish or Originate something. To Organize something.
Genesis 2:18 - 25
And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.
And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto him. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, (Notice Man named the Woman) because she was taken out of Man.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
Wedding Vows
Vows -To Pray. A solemn Promise, Assertion by which one is Bound to Act. To Bind (Secure), Consecrate.
Who do you Commit these Wedding Vows to?
Commit - To Put in Charge. To Entrust.
Here is another very important fact about Marriage. Again over the years of experience, we have been told that the major keys to the Breaking Up and Destruction of a Marriage per Documented Statistics are:
a) Money
b) Communication
c) Cheating
d) Family Interference
e) Career Pursuits
But what I have discovered is, it is not these things that actually Destroy a Marriage. But it is what these things sometimes cause in the Marriage.
What is the Common Denominator to this listing? They can all lead to Anger!
What is Anger
Anger - Strong Feeling of Displeasure usually of Antagonism. Emotional state of Mind.
Anger is not a Sin; it is an Emotion that is part of human behavior. But we can not let our Anger cause us to commit Sin.
Ephesians 4:26 - Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
Hidden and Unidentified Anger is the most Destructive Anger to the human Mind, Body and Soul.
90% of the time, Words (Spoken and Unspoken) create Visible and Hidden Anger in a Marriage. It's not what you say or what is said to you. It's how you say it or how it is said to you!
Proverbs 15:1 - A soft answer turneth away anger: but harsh words stir up anger.
When Men and Women can learn to Control Anger, even when they are in the right, God can help them solve all other Problems.
Proverbs 25:28 - Whoever has no Rule over his own Spirit is like a City Broken Down, without Walls a soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
Heart of Marriage is Companionship and Intimacy Both husband and wife must promote:
Companionship - Fellowship among People. Interest, Activity, Feelings Experiences.
Intimacy - Innermost, Inward
Genesis 2:18, 24
And the Lord God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him". Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Husbands must treat their wives with Respect and as Equal Heirs of "God's Gifts"
Respect - Giving Special Attention to, High Regard, Careful Thought, Sympathetic.
God's Gifts - Something given to someone without Compensation. Favor by God.
I Peter 3:7
Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
God made the husband responsible for the Welfare of the wife
Welfare - State of Doing Well
Financial Welfare - Doing well Financially
Physical Welfare - Doing well Physically
Mental Welfare - Doing well Mentally
Psychological Welfare - Doing well Psychologically
Emotional Welfare - Doing well Emotionally
Social Welfare - Doing well Socially
God's Design for the wife is that of a Helper suitable for man
God's Design - Create and Construct something according to a Plan. Devise a Specific Function with a Purpose.
Helper - One that Helps. To give Assistance, Support or Service to make things Easier.
Genesis 2:18
And the Lord God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him".
Husbands and wives must not Fight and Destroy each other
Fight - Battle, Combat, Overcome a Person by Blows or Weapons. Hostile encounter, Struggle.
Destroy - To Tear Down, Ruin the Structure, Tear to Shreds.
Galatians 5:15
But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another!
A House Divided against itself can not stand
Divided - Separate into Parts or Pieces. Opposite Directions.
Matthew 12:25
But Jesus knew their thoughts, and said to them. "Every kingdom divided against itself is bought to desolation, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand".
